tales from the Ron Jeremy operating room   Reply to topic

15) It took a while for the ER nurses to check Ron in as his dick was still outside parking the car.

14) Ron went through three head nurses before finding one who had her own kneepads.

13) Before surgery Ron nearly put the doctors to sleep while rambling about his mainstream credits.

12) Security guards were needed to keep out the hordes of elderly women asking Ron to sign their colostomy bags.

11) The catheter was not long enough; they had to splice two of them together.

10) The doctors insisted that Ron de Jeremy rum is not approved by the A.M.A. as an anesthetic.

9) When Ron awoke from surgery and found himself in a bed, he demanded his day rate.

8) Afterwards, Ron revealed that when he was unconscious, instead of seeing a bright light, he saw golden arches.

7) Prior to choosing a hospital, Ron called around to see what they were serving for dinner.

6) When the nurses tried to examine him, Ron said, "You can see mine if I can see yours."

5) The nutritionist was concerned that Ron's food intake would bankrupt Obamacare.

4) Ron tried to score some oxycontin using the name "Doctor Proctor."

3) "Trust me," said the surgeon wielding the large scalpel, "I promise I will only put in the tip."

2) To prep Ron for surgery, demolition specialists who defoliate rain forests were called in to help remove his body hair.

1) The anasthesiologist put a needle in Ron's arm and asked him to count backwards starting from 10. When Ron got to 1, he ejaculated.