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Money's Short
Times Are Hard
Here's Your Fucking
X-Mas Card
___________________
Twas The Night Before Christmas
And All Through The House
Everybody Felt Shitty
Even The Mouse,

Mom At The Whorehouse
And Dad Smoking Grass
I'd Just Settled Down
For A nice Piece Of Ass,

When Out On The Lawn
I Heard Such A Clatter
I Sprung From My Piece
To See What Was The Matter,

Then Out On The Lawn
I saw A "Big Dick"
I Knew In A Moment
It Must Be Saint Nick

He Came Down The Chimney
Like A Bat Out Of Hell
I Knew In A Moment
The Fucker Had Fell,

He Filled All Our Stockings
With Pretzels And Beer
And A Big Rubber Dick
For My Brother The Queer,

He Rose Up The Chimney
With A Thunderous Fart
The Son Of A Bitch
Blew The Chimney Apart,

He Swore And He Cursed
As he Rode Out Of Sight
Piss On You All
And Have A Hell Of A Night.

Ive used the first one before.
Second ones cute. :)