A man walks into a bar....   Reply to topic

A man walks into a bar back at the end of the 19th century. He looked to be an old cowboy and was down on his luck, money-wise, and he was looking for a job. He'd been asking around and at this point, he badly needed a drink.
Looking around, he saw something that might help him out. He walked to the center of the room and announced, "I need some money for food and I need a drink. For $5 dollars, I'll take a sip out of the spittoon sitting next to the bar."
People start to laugh and talk about how crazy the guy is.
Finally, a guy says, "I'll pay $5 to see that." He slaps a gold Liberty half eagle $5 coin down on the bar and says, "Have at it."
The guy walks over to the spittoon, picks it up, and raises it to his lips. After taking a couple of deep breaths he tips it back.
People watch in amusement at first, then disbelief, and finally out and out disgust as the man's adam apple jumps up and down.
Further and further back he tips the spittoon, continuously gulping. He starts to stagger but still he drinks. The crowd is screaming at him to stop. The man who put the money down is yelling at the guy, telling him, "You win! You win! Stop!" Still he guzzels.
At long last, his eyes bulging out of his head, he gasps and throws the spittoon on the ground. He is gagging and clawing at his mouth, unable to form words. Everyone is talking at once but basically saying same thing, why didn't he stop?
The guy who put the money on the bar grabbed him and asked, "You won! Why didn't you stop?"

When he could finally speak he said,
"I tried but I couldn't stop. It was all one strand!"

A man walks into a bar. He tells the bartender he wants a double wild turkey 151. The bartender hands it to him and the guy slams the drink down, gasps a few times, catches his breath and says "do that for me again". The bartender pours him another one and the guy slams that one too. Gasping, the guy tells the bartender to set him up again. As he is doing it, he asks the patron what the special occasion is. After slamming the 3rd one , the guy says, "First blow job".
The bartender's face lights up and he says, "Hey. That is a special occasion. Let me give you one on the house!"
The guy shakes his head and says, "No thanks. If 3 won't get rid of the taste then a 4th probably won't help."